Train Wreck

Tonight I had my lesson, and it was one of the worst rides I think I've had in maybe a year and a half.  It was like an out of body experience, watching a train wreck happen over and over again.  I mean, this is no exaggeration.  If you had walked in on this lesson, you would have thought it was my first ride. Ever.  I have never felt so stupid in all my life.

I don't know if there's any point in even chronicling the things I did wrong, since it would probably be more efficient to simply list the things I did right.  I will do both.

Things I did right:
- cool down (you'd think that warm up would be a given, but nope - screwed that up too)
- the fighting part (I'm always good when motivated by a naughty pony)

Things I did wrong:
- warm up
- bracing my arms
- shoulders forward (the forever curse)

This face tried to cheer me up.
I just sat in his stall in a corner for awhile
and let the calm wash over me

- leaning forward
- my heels were up
- dropping my outside rein instead of simply pulling back (that's another curse I have from my Western days)
- two-point (everything about two-point, really - which is ironic, considering Two Pointober where I nearly killed myself to improve)
- walk/trot/canter (I deserve an award for screwing up EVERY GAIT)
- not looking where I was going
- not turning my body at all
- cantering large when the instructions were to canter a circle - like every time
- my diagonals
- ripping on the horse's mouth
- reins were too long, stirrups were too long
- horse was never on the bit for more than two seconds despite being perfectly capable of doing so
- etc
- etc
- etc

I mean, some of these things are constant problems I have, like my shoulders.  I doubt a day will ever come where I am not a hunchback.  It is ingrained in my very biology.  But diagonals?  I'm the freakin' queen of getting my diagonals.  And you know, walking.  Usually that's pretty cool too.

In all honesty, I'm super upset about it.  I don't know what the hell was wrong with me.  And to make matters worse, my instructor had a friend with her who was telling me all about the new horse she was training.  So her first impression of me was as a stupid lump of spaghetti slapping around on the back of this poor horse, who was a saint, all things considered.

And I didn't even get to do all the things that the other kids got to do in the lesson before me because, well, you don't let people canter without stirrups when they can barely walk WITH stirrups.

But now I have beer.  And beer is good.