Buying Your Way to the Top

Do you ever get that feeling that if you spend just a little more money, buy just one more thing, you will suddenly and miraculously be better at whatever you're trying to achieve?  I find this in many aspects of my life, including horseback riding.  In particular, I find that my thoughts have been riddled with desires for new saddles and breeches and bridles that we don't need, and when I run out of legitimate reasons why I can't afford them, I am stuck with the nagging feeling that they will make my life a little easier.  I think these are the things we do to justify our wants, the things that we don't need but the things after which we lust.

Earlier this week, one of the girls at my barn got a new English saddle.  It's a Collegiate Convertible, and its absolutely beautiful.  My cheap English saddle looked, well, cheap in comparison.  I am constantly looking at saddles online and dreaming about the day when I can drop an obscene amount of money on a new one.  You see, I do not doubt that a nicer saddle, a better quality saddle, actually will improve performance.  As with most sports, better equipment gives you better results, however minuscule the margins.  But I'm not Tiffany Foster, and I'm not headed for the Olympics any time soon.  The fact of the matter is, expensive saddle or not, I still need to work on the basics, but for whatever reason, it seems easier to put off actually doing that work, instead dreaming of the day when Walker and I can have the best of everything and be the best (or at least the best that we can be).

One of the Collegiate Convertible saddles - I'm not sure if this is the same one, but similar

I have realized that I have simply replaced one shopping addiction with another.  I used to have less of a financial boundary with myself, and whenever I felt like I needed new clothes (which, admittedly, I did when I started law school and had to wear suits to interviews), I would just go out and buy them.  Now I don't dream about dresses but winter riding boots and jumping bridles (for my horse, the non-jumper).  I realize that I wrote a post about shopping only a week or so ago, but since applying for those horse-related catalogs, I have been checking my mail EVERY DAY to no avail.  I can't decide which is worse: shopping online and ultimately buying something because the catalogs haven't come in yet OR the catalogs actually coming in and me buying something because of that!

I could perhaps get over the fact that I want things that I need and don't have.  Or even that I want better things when I have cheaper quality that will honestly need to be replaced before too long.  But oftentimes I want things that I don't need and may never need.  I want things for a jumping career Walker and I do not have (and probably never will).  I even caught myself looking at poles and jumping standards the other day - for the arena I don't have, at the barn I don't have, for the English jumper pony I don't have.  Or some days I even look at real estate, particularly equestrian real estate.  It's bad enough when I look at houses with barns because I could never feel safe about keeping Walker at my property with the limited knowledge I have about horse care, but it's even worse the times I've caught myself looking at stables, as in full-on equestrian 30-stall+ stables intended for training and lessons and breeding.  Oh yeah.  How the mind wanders.

Someday maybe?  Probably not...

The truth of the matter is that it's ok to be enthusiastic.  It's ok to want the best things for Walker, and to really pour everything into this endeavour.  This is what I've always wanted, after all.  I'm young, single, and I have no other financial responsibilities (unless you count those pesky student loans and my line of credit).  But for now, I'm on a financial diet, and while I absolutely love to treat myself (and Walker) every so often, I will be keeping myself to things that I need - at least until the catalogs arrive!