How to Bathe a Horse

Or more appropriately: How to Bathe a Horse Who Has Been On Stall Rest

Step 1: Get yourself super excited that it is a warm enough day and that you actually have the day off, and you will finally get to use that super cool Showsheen Try-Pak that you won over at SheMovedToTexas (especially since you never win anything).

Step 2: Wake the sweet looking pony up from his pony nap and take him for a test walk down the hall to check his soundness.  Be super excited that he appears relatively sound, even if it might be the bute talking.

Step 3: Bring him to the wash stall where you've never washed a horse before and frankly aren't clear on the pony's reaction.  Be sure to walk him past the door to the outside world where he knows all his friends are so that he'll be super pissed when he realizes you just tricked him into a bath.

Step 4: Soak, suds, rinse, repeat.  Use Shampoo/Conditioner and  Stain Remover.  Ignore directions and don't leave stain remover on long enough to remove stains.

His white socks post freak-out
I wish I could have given a review on the stain remover but...

Step 5: Take horse back to stall.  Be surprised when he seems overly eager to get in his stall.  Watch while recently lame horse has a freak attack and starts bucking and rearing in his stall.  Remove head before it gets kicked.  Yell "stop" a few times, but watch while horse rolls in the bedding and almost puts a foot through the  wall.

Step 6: Text barn manager to say, "Hey.  Maybe tomorrow should be the last day we give him bute instead of today."  Leave part out about foot almost going through wall.  Act normal.

Step 7: Leave defeated.