Write-off

As far as I'm concerned, the summer is a write-off at this point. 

For the record, I had a much gloomier post written, but I decided against writing about ultimate despair and decided to stick to general gloominess instead.

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I live in Atlantic Canada.  It is summer here for approximately two weeks.  I jest of course, but not by much.  Today it is 14 degrees (57.2 degrees Fahrenheit) and pouring rain.  We have been known to get snow in May.  In the city I live in now, which I will admit is a particularly horrible city weather-wise, the average temperature in July is 17 degrees (62 degrees Fahrenheit).  That is the warmest month of the year.  By the time Halloween arrives, children need to wear snowsuits under their Halloween costumes or risk freezing to death.

In many ways, I think of the pinnacle of a year as an equestrian as those 2-3 months smack dab in the middle of the summer.  Sure, I ride all year long regardless of temperature or depth of snow.  I even continue to work on things that I worked on all year long, but I defy you to be productive when temperatures can drop to below 40 degrees (that's -40 Celsius or Fahrenheit) in the Winter.  This is rare-ish, of course, but it never shocks me to have weather of around -20 degrees (-4 degrees Fahrenheit) consistently.

Summer is an important time of year for all riders, but it is especially important when Winter means cold, really cold, and Winter means snow, lots of snow.

My boots looking sad and forgotten in a corner

I have decided at this point that the rest of the summer with Walker is a write-off.  My old vet is starting to concern me that it may be laminitis after all (just not full fledged founder with significant rotation of the coffin bone), and so I'm having the new vet out again to double check him.  Regardless of the cause of the lameness, I'm looking at a couple months at best to get Walker back into shape after I get him sound.  That puts us into the Fall, and while the loss of any showing really doesn't bother me, it's the loss of the summer that does.

If summer is the most important time to progress, and I lose the summer, then I have lost the year.  If I were an experienced rider, perhaps this would be ok, but I'm getting back into riding and really can't afford to put myself (let alone my horse) behind that much.  If I can't start progressing with Walker until later in the fall, that means I have lost 6 - 8 months of my own personal development.

When I moved to the new city, I made a few compromises.  I compromised my own progression for Walker's ultimate care.  Illness in a horse has a sobering way of putting your priorities straight, and it matters to me that Walker is at a great facility with attentive care.  But it is pricey and I can't have both - his great care and my lessons for personal growth as a rider.

I really need direction, but I justified this to myself at the time because although I had lessons at my old barn, a lot of my accomplishments came through my individual work.  If riding Walker becomes limited, it changes nothing about his care.  I like the care he's getting.  He benefits from it.  But that means I still don't have any extra money - money for lessons, money for a second lease, money even for a second horse. 

I must say that I do not know where this leaves me as a rider.  What is a rider without a horse?  I came along so far and so fast with just one year of Walker, and I would be lying if I didn't think our second year would look much the same.  Now it will be a matter of retraining both of us and essentially re-doing the year.  Next year, that is.